I’ve been thinking lots of thoughts about positivity. There is the fact that so many posts on this blog have not been positive. There is also the fact that I have met people who seem to be aggressively positive about everything, and refuse to complain or criticise other people. This is so different from my own mindset, but is so admirable. And then I’ve also read a number of posts celebrating the need to be positive. I must admit that I tend to wince whenever people talk of the need for positivity, because I have come to feel almost as if my mind is permanently stuck on a negative note. And yet I feel that there are some things that do need to be said. However I know that if I keep focusing on these things, even if they are true, then my mind will just become more and more sour. I did discuss this in an earlier blog post! Where in that post, I was still thinking about a suitable solution, now I hope I have hit upon an appropriate answer: I have to consciously and systematically practise the habit of positivity, to keep my mind reflecting on happy and beautiful things, so that on balance I will overwhelmingly radiate positivity rather than negativity. This is all the more true precisely because there are so many less happy topics that I think I would like to deal with.
So hopefully all that will result in a few structural changes to this blog, my frequency of writing and so on. i am so happy to report that my thoughts are already in a far more positive place than they had been, because I have been cultivating the practice of not allowing myself to think angrily about anyone, but rather releasing myself only to graciousness when thinking of anyone. Thinking angrily is a habit that has become quite deeply entrenched within me, so I know that it will take some time to completely uproot. However, by God’s grace, both the understanding and the willingness are now there within me, and it is now a matter of persevering and determination. My goodness, a few days ago I actually caught myself walking along and smiling which makes me feel as if I might actually be returning to my own true self after so long!
That said though, something else that occurred to me is this: my innate positivity and joy and optimism was largely an expression of inexperience. I’m thinking that when you start understanding just what people on the whole are like, and capable of, then you simply cannot feel as positive or optimistic about them as before. In the face of this, there are two obvious choices: 1. to become angry and bitter as I have done or 2. to refuse to acknowledge that people can truly be like this, to keep looking out only for positive things. I think that this third way represents a meaningful way of bridging these options. I want this blog to be an instrument of truth. That sometimes does mean acknowledging these difficult topics, and talking about them. On the other hand, a commitment to joy, to “rejoicing in the Lord always” is also part of a Christian’s experience of truth. I’m strongly tempted to designate a time period that is purely for celebrating beautiful things, refusing to acknowledge negative things, refusing to criticise other people, if nothing else, just to prove that I can do this!
On the whole, I am extremely excited. I am excited about the prospect of being able to deliberately give myself over to positive thoughts, and celebrations of human excellence and integrity and kindness etc. I am happy at the prospect of being able to focus on this predominantly, after spending so much time mired in bitterness. On the other hand I am also happy at the thought of being able to address those issues which I believe that as Christians we do need to address!
I hope that you as readers will be as excited about these things as I am, and as always, I would greatly welcome your feedback. God bless, Tosin 😉