I was thinking recently that it has been a while since I last thanked my possible prayer warrior. (Actually, that should really read “prayer supporter”, and I just instinctively moved to correct it. However, the thought occurred to me that it would be so nice to actually have a warrior – I mean maritally!)
There have been a few reasons why I have not been talking about this person. So many amazing things have been happening in my life. I know that God is definitely at work. It feels as if my steps have been bathed in light, and beauty and grace. To be honest, things have been going so well independent of my own prayers and relationship with God that I am a little at risk of becoming spiritually complacent myself which is something I would hate for my life! To be honest, this spiritual complacency risk warrants its own blog post and soon; it coincides with a general state of busy-ness in my life which is how many people come unstuck in their fervour. I was just thinking today that I have got to really make the time to place everything else aside, to get back into my pursuit of spiritual depth with God, to truly connect in deep intimacy with God.
So on one hand, even though I am aware of the risk of growing complacent, things have been going really well. So much so that I ask myself whether this could be the result of a certain someone else’s prayers. On the other hand, I don’t want to attribute it to someone else unless I am quite sure that someone else might be praying.
If indeed I am right that there is someone praying, then I would indirectly be claiming all of this as a miracle. This is why I am being so careful in assessing whether or not someone might be praying, because this “miracle” claim is not a claim that I would ever want to make casually. I always think that Christians are too casual in calling things “miracles”, or in saying “God said…” or “God told me that…” and I don’t want to join others in this carelessness.
I definitely know and believe that God performs miracles. I am very sure that there has already been a miracle regarding this issue of prayer from this mysterious prayer supporter, in that I am absolutely sure that I physically felt those first prayers as they were being prayed! However, I don’t want to devalue the meaning of the word “miracle” by just throwing it around casually. I don’t want to say that someone is praying unless I’m sure that that is the case. With any miracle I would want to verify it to make sure that it really is a miracle. I guess here God is definitely at work, so that in itself truly is a miracle. What I am not so sure about is if anyone else’s prayer agency is also at work.
All these amazing things are happening, and I sincerely don’t know whether anyone else’s prayers could be involved. It could be God just working through these current circumstances and creating amazing joy and peace in my life. It could be a “fulfilment of time” thing that makes things feel as if they are falling into place, even despite the fact that I am not currently as spiritually hot as I would like to be, even though I greatly need and want to work on my intimacy with God. Or it could be that if someone is praying, after learning from previous experiences where I instantly guessed a. that someone was praying b. what they were praying for c. the identity of the person praying; and where I explained just how I was able to come to my conclusions; they are now praying so skillfully and so subtly that I honestly cannot categorically say that they are indeed praying. This is what I secretly suspect is the case. And if I am right about the identity of the pray-er, I am sure that this is exactly how he would go about things. I can’t help admiring the (can’t think of the right noun) – audacity? boldness? in that I have practically spelled out his identity – and yet he coolly continues praying, but just tries to be more subtle about it. Please Lord, let me be right about all this!
I am also thinking that it may be that through this person’s possible prayers, I have now come to a place of understanding and it is that understanding that is now releasing these abundant blessings in my life. For instance, I am now understanding how to deal with many issues in my heart, such as anger and bitterness, and other things which are even less attractive to talk about! And I’m thinking that as these strongholds are being uprooted from my life, there is now space for God’s abundant blessings to be made manifest in my life. So it might not be that someone is praying endlessly for beauty, grace and peace to be poured out in my life. They might be praying instead for me to learn how to release my anger, and it might be in releasing the negativity that the positivity can finally pour forth.
This is very biblical. The Bible says “If we regard iniquity in our hearts, then God will not hear us”. Anger and bitterness are definitely sinful in the eyes of God. When they become strongholds, or deeply entrenched habits, then they become ongoing barriers to the release of God’s blessings. So when those strongholds are uprooted and removed from my thinking, then God’s blessings can flow.
This following is my dilemma. This is my constant dilemma regarding this question of “is there a prayer supporter – or not?!”: If indeed someone is praying for me, and I can feel the effects of their prayers in my life, I would not want to just ignore that. I would not want to ignore the fact that someone could be investing precious hours of their life into praying for me. I think that someone’s time is the most precious gift that they could give you. And then prayer is especially selfless because (normally speaking) the other person cannot know; it is a gift that can only be given in secret, from you to God on behalf of someone else. So it is not like it could be used as a tool of manipulation, like other gifts could be used. It is an expression of pure love. (Which is why I am so hoping that there is a handsome man behind this, and why I would be ecstatic if I was right about the identity of the pray-er!) Because it is such an amazing and precious gift, I have to acknowledge that, and I have to thank them. And if someone is praying for me on an ongoing basis, then that also needs to be acknowledged on an ongoing basis. But then when I am not entirely sure, that there is indeed someone praying, this is why I am hesitant, and I have to write out these posts, spelling everything out, and going into detail about my reasoning…
So to summarise, I don’t want to call it a miracle unless it realistically is a miracle. However, if there is a possibility that someone might be praying for me then I absolutely need to acknowledge that!
So….here we go again! For the umpteenth time! If indeed there is someone out there praying for me, whoever you might be, I thank you! Regarding the person that I think is praying, I know you know that I eagerly hope that you are responsible! If indeed you are praying, thank you so much. God bless you so much. I know that everyone’s time is precious, and I thank you for giving me this gift in such a sincere way. Even if you have prayed for me only that once, I think that that may have been the catalyst for amazing and profound changes in my life. So thank you so so much!
Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.
Thank you image by Chrystal-E on Pixabay